i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
