video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
