Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
