I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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