You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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