In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
