I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Rumble strips road head = magical
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
