my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
