it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
