wakey wakey hands off snakey
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
