Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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