forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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