everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We don't watch enough power rangers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
