Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
