I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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