i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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