Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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