i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
