they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
