why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
