A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
