If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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