I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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