Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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