if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
