dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
