Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
