you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
