Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
