i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
