Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
