sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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