And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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