Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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