we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
