I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
