I've blown a few things in my day
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
