Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize