i need an iv and a liver transplant
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
