Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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