You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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