i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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