I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just gift wrapped bread.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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