You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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