I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
