I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
