It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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