He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
