Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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