I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this beer tastes like vomit already
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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