we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
