Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am available for nakedness
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
