Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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