Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
